I've put my foot in it! Well my paw to be exact. You see no-one told me what day it was today. I didn't know it was Valentine's Day. Yes OK I saw all these male two legs going about with red roses and boxes of chocolates but then they always seem to be doing that and giving them to the female two legs to make them happy.
I should have taken note when I saw my mate Terry the postman delivering lots of those oversize cards with red envelopes and hearts and kisses all over them but still it didn't register.
Then I went to see Mr Grumpy. He's a mate of mine who hasn't long been in the neighbourhood but he is always grumpy. He has one blue eye and one green one and I wondered if that was the reason for his never-ending grumpiness.
He was looking as miserable as ever and as I entered through the cat flap he was in mid conversation with his female two leg personal shopper.
"I would have expected you to make some sort of effort today of all days. You could have woken up with a smile and a purr or you could have kissed me first thing but no there you sat washing your bum on the bed!"
"When my bum's dirty I wash it don't you? Would you rather I drag my bum over the bedclothes like that stupid dog of yours?"
"Not even a sweet purr. Fido was licking me as soon as my eyes were open."
"You think I am going to lick you after he has spat all over your face. besides he was having a good lick of his bots before you woke. the noise he makes woke me up. Anyway you just complained I was licking my bum - did you want that on your face?"
"You are a misery. Typical male!"
"Oh hi, Casper. Didn't see you come in did you shut the flap. There's a terrible draught in here. Wait on I better tell her I did get her a card. It's in the bottom of my litter tray."
That's when I knew I was in for trouble when I got home - I hadn't even left a card in the litter tray. Oh well there's always next year!
