Greetings my fans - bet you all wondered where I was. I have heard one or two people asking old two legs what had happened to me so I persuaded him to get a new computer thing and let me start writing again and here I am
Well I guess the first thing to tell you is that there is now only me and Max. It was kind of sad. Sebastian left us last year. He was sick and he called me to him and asked me to take care of Max when he had gone. I asked him where he was going and he just said away. True to his word a couple of days later the 2 legs went off with him and came back all crying and stuff and there was no Sebastian. I asked Max about it and he just said something happens and I left it at that.
Anyway I am now the Boss and I look after Max. First thing I did was to try and find out about his "condition" but no-one talks about it. I reckon it is something in his past that they are all ashamed of but then again I don't really know.
Now there was a major upset last year shortly after Sebastian went. I went off to do some exploring one afternoon and I found this comfy looking garage down the road. I popped in as there was no-one about and found a nice old blanket in the corner and snuggled down for a siesta. When I woke up it was all dark and getting chilly. I went to go out and pop home for some tuna and cream but the door was locked! There were no windows in the place and just some dirty old mowers and tools. I was a bit scared I don't mind admitting to you. I was there for 5 whole days and nights and then a two leg appeared and I made a dash and headed homeward.
When I got there the door was closed and I stood at the patio door and called to them. Well you've never seen anything like it there was crying and dashing about and hugging and kissing me - that kind of stuff is a bit naff for us alpha male cats you know. Anyway I got all sorts of treats and they gave me a lovely rub down with some nice smelling stuff as they said I stank of oil.
Max told me they had been frantic and sort I had got kittynapped. They apparently went house to house looking for me and put up posters and even wrote about me on their computer. I felt very important and they were so good to me for a while after that. Max told me not to go off again without telling him as he had been awake for about half an hour one night wondering where I was.
We've got several new cats in the area now. There's a foxy little cat called Ella just over the fence from us and she and I are thinking about getting together. Only thing is I haven't told her yet about the two legs taking me to the vets to have my bits taken away. I hope Ella won't mind about that.
Then there's Toby. He thought he was an alpha male until I met him. He tried to take over our patch and Max said it was OK but I said no way and have had to fight for our rights. The two legs get all agitated when Toby and me have a stand-off but then they get agitated about everything!
Right I am finished now and will bring you up to date with other things later - my tuna and cream is waiting and all this typing makes my paws sore. If you know a remedy for sore paws tell two legs and he will get it for me.
