Baby It's Cold Outside

Crikey - who put all this white stuff about? I went out the other morning for a quick stroll round the estate and I went waist deep in this cold wet powdery stuff. Actually it was quite fun and I was jumping about in it and racing upstairs to jump on the two legs while they were still in bed. They liked the game because they kept squealing about cold and wet.

Anyway there I was running in and out and Max said it was far too cold to have the door open for me and would I shut it.

Well it's not often I get to have some real fun and I told him to come out and play with me in it. He said he hadn't got a fur coat to wear and I gave him one of my puzzled stares and he went all huffy.

Then I saw him talking to Sebastian and they said that if I was good and didn't throw ice balls at them they would come and play with me. I promised and thought how nice it is to have brothers who will come and play with me.

We all went outside.

Max and Sebastian didn't stay long. They told me to sit still while they made a snow man. I am still thawing out.

It isn't nice to have brothers who take advantage of your innocence you know

It's a Dog's Life

I found this wonderful game I've been playing for a while now.

You see this two legs comes to the front door every day and puts some stuff through the door. He never comes in and I haven't seen him, but he puts this stuff through for me. Sometimes it's big heavy stuff wrapped in that flimsy stuff that when you scratch it, it goes everywhere and sometimes it's just small bits of paper and pretty colours.

Well I found that I can pick up the small stuff and run it upstairs and hide it. It's great fun and the two legs always comes and gives me more so he obviously likes it.

I've been ever so good and I got several of these papers in my box under the bed. My teo legs don't look in there only to see if Sebastian has gone into hiding there so it was a really cool secret place.

the other day though I'd retrieved this leaflet thing about pilates classes and taken it up my hidey hole ready for storage when I heard Louie outside so I jumped across the bed to look out the window to see what she was doing and that's when the trouble started. Louie was trying to get in and was hanging on her front door. her two legs had gone out and left her. I tried to shout across to her to say that she could come and stay with me until they got home but you know how thick these windows are. Anyway in all the excitement I forgot about my pilates class leaflet and left it on the bed where I had dropped it.

Everything calmed down and I went back for a snooze until my two legs came home. They did the normal greetings ritual and enquired if I had been a good boy etc. Then he went upstairs to change clothes.

"What's this paper doing on the bed?" came the call from upstairs. I felt a little chill of fear - I sensed what was coming. my stash was about to be revealed. I thought what a funny question too. The piece of paper would have just been laying there. It had no life of its own so it would be most unlikely to be doing a Highland jig across the duvet.

The female two legs went up to join him and pretty soon they were embarked ona search which involved going under the bed. They did look quite funny with their heads under the bed and their bottoms in the air, but I knew comedy was going to be short lived.

"Look here!" commanded the male two legs. "There's all sorts of letters and stuff in here. It must be Casper's hideaway"

That's right I thought now do the decent thing and walk away and pretend you haven't seen it. Not likely! Out came the letters and papers and things were ripped open.

"The gas bill! My pension! An invite to wine tasting. What on earth is he doing? Does he think he's a dog?"

That was enough. Me - a dog! I ran up his back as he was kneeling by the bed my claws fully extended. he knew that wasn't a dog.

Nevertheless I am now in the dog house - again. And they've put a box on the door so the two legs can't play with me any more. It's always me that's in the wrong!!

I Have to HAND it to Them

Have you ever stopped to think about your hand?

To me it is enormous - about the size of my body and it comes whizzing out of nowhere to stroke me. Gives me the most terrible fright. It's like some unmanned spaceship making a direct hit on you. Well not on you - on me!

I was asking Max about it the other day and he said when he was young it made him so scared he ran and hid whenever two legs approached. He thought the "Hand of the Two Legs" was something evil until he grew up and found it generally meant affection.

I know they mean well but it is a bit off-putting. You think about it. When you are being stroked by your two leg friend it is like a very small part of your body isn't it. But when we are stroked by a gigantic hand it is like three quarters of our body.

Max said he quite liked being stroked with one finger at first. I think that's a pretty fair compromise. It doesn't apply to the little two legs of course becuse they have little hands and they don't scare so much.

I thought I would have a deep and meaningful blog today!

Reading is so Tiring

You know since I became a celebrity I have to check all the newspapers and magazines to see if there is any mention of me and my events. It is such a tiring job I was wondering if anyone out there would like to come and do it for me. I know you would be thrilled to work for me so i wouldn't insult you by offering you payment and you could always get me little bits of extra food to supplement what my personal shoppers get. You can send your application to me with all relevant experience and references.

Meanwhile I must get back to checking the latest copy of Celebrity Paws - I am so tired

I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here

I have been so busy with all my personal appearances ever since I became the pin-up cat of Ipswich that I nearly didn't have time for my after dinner nap yesterday.

My little two leg friends who live with my sister Bluebell came to see me and I always play a game of hide and seek with them. They get all upset because they can't find me and then I suddenly pop out and surprise them. We were having a little fun game when I looked round and saw Sebastian playing with my coloured piece of string. My little friends made it for me to play with.

I asked him why he was playing with that when he had never shown any interest in it before.

"Since you've had it you've become all famous and people come to see you so I thought if I played with it it might be magic like and the magic would rub of on me!" he explained all sort of upset and sheepish like. It's funny to see a cat being sheepish but Sebastian was.

"I will let you have it if you want because I am so famous people shower gifts on me and I don't need and trinkets anymore" I replied somewhat disdainfully.

The little friends saw Sebastian and went to play with him with the string and left me alone. I felt all unwanted suddenly. I thought I shouldn't have been quite so off-hand with Sebastian and I offered to play with him too but he was happy with my little friends. I went over to wash him - he likes me washing his ears and head where he can't reach.

"Not now Cas," he said "I'm playing".

I think I shall be a little more humble in future. Stardom is OK but I don't want to lose all my friends along the way.

Glad you are still here for me.

I'm A Celebrity Get Me Some Food!

Hey what do you think?

Those people over at the vets have said that I am the face on their calendar for 2011. I am going to be Mr September. Max and Sebastian are so jealous you can't believe it.

I have to have words with my personal shoppers. There have to be changes now. I can't have them just saying there's no fish this week or stuff like that. I'm a superstar - what I want I get. I shall be on thousands of two legs's walls. They will look to me for the date and all sorts of stuff. I shouldn't wonder that I have to appear on Daytime TV soon with that funny two leg who sits on the couch all day.

I shall still make time to write to you but I expect my life will have lots of twists and turns now with recording agents and all that. I told Max and Seb I will always remember them but not to expect me to be able to get them tickets to all my venues.

Hehehehe you know a star

Feather in my Cap

I was really star struck today.

It all started this morning when I went up to see my two leg personal shopper at 4 am. He was fast asleep and I felt like he had been nice to me so I took him a present. trouble was he was fast asleep. Max told me they like to be woken up gently so I sit on his bedside table and gently tap his face. I have to tap a little harder each time until he wakes up and he is usually pleased to see me. I knew he would be this morning because of the special present.

After three strikes he woke up and I went to get the present and dropped it on his face. he was a bit spluttery but he seemed pleased and put the light on.

"Oh," he said "it's a dirty old bird feather. Couldn't you have got me a nice shining new one?"

It made me think. I was being a bit of a cheapskate so I determined to put things right. He got up as is normal and took me downstairs to let me out. Sebastian came along but Max stayed curled up under the duvet. Max doesn't like these crisp frosty mornings. Plays his rheumatism up he says.

I was hoping to find a nice peacock or something in the garden but the only person about was Christopher Crow. Now he is a very big black bird with lovely feathers but I don't think he would be the sort to give me one without a fight. Nevertheless I thought I'd ask.

"Excuse me Mr Crow have you got a feather you could spare for me that I could give to my two legs as a thank you for being nice to me?"

Christopher looked up from his pecking and turned to Sebastian who was sheltering under the planter.

"Is this guy for real? Asking for feathers. Giving them as presents. What is he?"

"A little slow in the uptake Chris but don'y mind him, his heart is in the right place most of the time."

What did that mean? When did my heart get in the wrong place? What did that do for my medical wellbeing? Had Sebastian heard something I didn't know about?

"Well funny cat. You happen to be in luck. My cousin is over from New Zealand on a flying visit and he is a mega star and is used to giving feathers to his adoring fans. I'll nip over to the rookery and get one for you. Only because I like your cheek!"

With that he was gone and Sebastian looked at me with one of his withering looks.

Before he could say a word there was a flapping of wings and down came Christopher with a fine black feather in his beak. He dropped it in front of me and looked up as if ready to peck me hard.

"Russell says it's the strangest request he's had but as he trusts me he has given this one for you. Treat it properly and never ask again!"

He disappeared leaving the feather at my feet. I picked it up and ran it upstairs to my two legs who was back in bed savouring a cup of tea.

"Where did you get that beauty Cas? That looks like a crow feather. You surely haven't been chasing them. You are a clever lad.

I tried to explain but you know what two legs are. They like to have their own ideas and there's no dissuading them sometimes.

Remember Remember the 5th November

Hey yesterday was some night. They said it was 5th November but it was like a war out there. I have never heard anything like it. There were bangs and whizzes and flashes all through the evening. I got quite frightened at first and fell off my perch and went and hid behind the settee.

Sebastian came down and told me it was quite alright and not to be afraid. I thought it was very nice of him, but I did wonder why he spent the time under the bed upstairs all the while they were whizzing and banging. Max told me he takes his deaf aid out and then he doesn't hear so much of it. Mind you he spent a lot of time looking out the window at all the lights and flashes. Some of those flashes went right up beyond the sky. and I am sure some of those whizzy things whizzed there way right out of the world well certainly out past where Tescos is.

When I went for my walk this morning there were quite a few new sticks about and I picked a few up to bring home. Only trouble was they smelled of something horrible. Max said it was gunpowder but he was being silly - they don't fire guns round here - do they?

Anyway Seb said it would all be over now until next year. Max said it will be ona gain tonight. One of them is probably right. I'm taking no chances - I've built my shelter this time.

Isn't This Wet Cool?

Hey I have had the wickedest time in this rain stuff.

I love running outside and getting all wet and muddy paws then I run indoors and skid on the wood floor and the two legs shout at me and there's all skid marks everywhere. The female two legs gets the mop out and cleans up so that I can go out and do it again. They do shout a lot and get funny!

Just now he was messing about on my computer and I wanted to blog to you. I asked nicely but he wouldn't get up so I went outside for a game. It was lovely and wet and I got soaked. I waited until all my fur was wet and then I ran in, ran up the back of his chair and laid on his neck. he shouted - they are always shouting aren't they? Then he jumped up and ran and got a towel yo wipe himself down. He also tried to wipe me with it but I wriggled free and showed him I could do what the dog across the road does and I shook all my fur over him. he shouted again!

I jumped into the seat and started writing. He is beside me telling me to hurry up because he wants to get some ticket for a Lottery before it closes.

I suppose I had better let him on.

What's With All The Explosions?

Have you heard all those bangs and crashes just lately?

Frightened the life out of me. It gets dark so early now and I was enjoying a late afternoon / early evening nap when it all kicked off. There were bangs and whizzes and crashes and all sorts. Woke me with such a start I fell off my station and landed in a heap in my toy basket.

I thought I had got away with it when Seb opened one eye and looked at me.

"Now you know why we don't sleep up so high, laddie" he seemed quite pleased at my indisposition.

I was about to explain when another series of flashes and crashes and whizzes and bangs went off right outside the window. I ducked for cover under the blanket.

"Who's attacking us and why?" I trembled.

"Some two legs setting off what they call fireworks." Seb explained "They do it every year as part of some ritual of theirs. Always do it when it's dark so it scares us more. Don't know why they do it. They also have great big fires in their gardens. At least that bit is warm if you're caught out in it."

Another whizzer shot by the window causing me to bury even deeper in my blanket.

"How long does it last?" I asked not really wanting to hear the reply.

"A couple of weeks or so" said Seb yawning and returning to his sleep. Something to be said for his advancing years and loss of acute hearing!