I've Got a Sore Bottom

I was sleeping nicely this morning with two legs when I heard this strange noise. It was a calling noise I hadn't heard before and it woke me from my dreams. I leapt off two legs' lap to investigate and ran to the lounge.

Max and Sebastian were there already and crouching low to the floor keeping out of sight. "

"What is it?" I enquired in my best quiet voice.

"Sheridan Seagull and his crowd have come up from the coast and they terrorise all the other birds. Keep out of sight and they'll go away soon."

"But they are chasing my mate Percy out there. They are stopping him having his peck."

"Leave it Casper. Some things are out of our control." announced the sage like Sebastian.

I'm young and fear nothing so I thought no way was this mob of unruly birds going to upset the tranquility of my garden and upset the feeding routine of my mates. I bounded through the open door and ran straight for the big white bird in the middle.

He turned and looked at me with a menacing eye and said nothing. I put the brakes on but the grass was damp and I skidded towards him. I felt quite brave and a little scared all at the same time. His face was evil and his beak looked enormous and golden. The scared feeling was beginning to win against the brave one.

"Go away!" the bird commanded at me. The voice was even more menacing than the look. Cold and assured. No-one obviously argued with this fellow and went home to tell the story.

I thought perhaps I would go back indoors and as I tried to turn whilst still skidding I threw up a clump of wet earth. Booph it hit him right on his wing. In an instant I saw the brown stain against his perfectly preened white plumage. His head moved and took in the mark in the same instant.

I regained my footing and was making for the door to get back indoors when I felt that golden beak snap into my bottom. Boy did that hurt. I didn't stop. I ran inside and Sebastian looked up from his crouch position.

"Brave but foolish lad. Next time listen to what you're told - we do know best."

He's cool is my brother.