Birthday Blues

Now today is my birthday and it should be a special day. Well it is also the birthday of my sister Bluebelle - she lives next door to me - and my brother Monty - he lives way down the road from me almost as far away as Tesco's. Now on my birthday you would expect everything to be going good for me wouldn't you. Well it isn't.

Now first of all I got my presents - that was cool. Bluebelle sent me some nice food things. I think she actually must have got her personal shopper to get them for her cos they were all wrapped up neatly; now Bluebelle is very artistic but she can't do things up as well as her personal shopper does because she hasn't got thumbs. I mean Bluebelle hasn't got thumbs - her personal shopper has got them OK.

Well I had just finished inspecting the presents and I turned round to play with the wrapping and there was Max curled up inside it. I told him to shove off but he wouldn't budge. As you know I am fairly good tempered so I let him stay there and vowed to get him as soon as he moved out!

I was settled down to sentry duty when the doorbell rang. I thought that would be my mate Terry the postman with some more presents for me but no. My two legs had only gone and invited some of their two leg friends over and they hadn't brought me a present, so I raced upstairs and promptly forgot all about getting revenge on Max for sitting in my birthday paper.

No sooner had these two legs gone than the doorbell rang again and this new two legs appeared. I heard him say he had come to gas us all! I quickly went about to summons Max and Sebastian and tell them the fate that was about to befall us. Sebastian raised an eye peered through the curtains and laid back down for sleep.

"He's not come to gas us dopey. He's the gas man. He comes every year and pokes about with things and says yes that's all working well and off he goes."

By now I was far too uptight to sleep and no-one seemed to be coming to see me so I thought to myself I am off to write to my thousands and thousands of loyal fans so here I am