Don't Hang Around Here For Long

Now I've told you how I like a nice snooze in that warm dark wardrobe of theirs and so does Max. In fact Max is so apt to nipping in for a nap whenever they open the door I have known him to be shut in for several hours until they released him

Well this week were we saved from a Hellish torture. I was having a wander through the linen basket trying to find a nice clean sheet or something to curl up in. You see it had been a particularly wet night and I had got rather wet and muddy when I toured the estate first thing. In those circumstances one simply has to find something cool and crisp and clean to lay on to clean oneself up. I imagine you do the same on those occasions.

I heard Max say he was off for a quick bite to eat as he had heard two legs saying he was about to repair the wardrobe doors. Now whenever two legs mentions repairing we all take cover. That inevitably means that whatever was intermittently working will from now on give up any semblance of functionality. it also means two legs and my female personal shopper will be arguing and shouting ate ach other about how the thing stopped working and everything else.

Back to this particular morning, Max passed me on his way out of the new wardrobe. For ages now the sliding door had been jammed open by a few inches. Enough for me and Max to slip in and find some nice quiet shut eye time. Now the failure to close properly was going to be "repaired". I was feeling a bit low that morning - I guess it was a mixture of the constant cold weather and a little too much of the cream trifle I had found on the worktop the night before. I needed something to cheer me up so I settled in a corner of the room where the reparations were to take place.

Two legs came armed with ladders, screwdrivers, searchlight, funny looking L shaped keys, glasses and pliers. I felt sure there were going to be problems as he had not got his favourite tool - the hammer!

After a little while and a lot of gruffing and panting there was a clunk and the doors miraculously closed. It was like one of those surreal moments when everything stood still and then his voice called out.

"Done it dear, come and have a look"

Now why anyone would want to come and have a look at a pair of closed doors I do not know. Nonetheless I heard footsteps on the stairs.

"Very nice" she said reaching over to open them, "Why don't they open any more?"

I knew it! The repair wouldn't be complete without a catastrophe. Then I thought. Was Max inside there? How lucky I was that I wasn't.

There was more gruffing and climbing of ladders. The searchlight went on and off like a lighthouse.

"Damn! Can't shift them at all!" he pronounced. "Think we need to get a man in"

Now that is always the sign that defeat has finally been acknowledged. It also means the job will not be complete for several weeks. There will be endless discussion about why external support is needed. There will be further discussion about who should be entrusted with the task. Then there will be discussion as to who should ring and make the appointment.

"Always sounds better coming from a  feeble female" was two legs' mantra.

I couldn't be doing with this any more and went in search of Max - I couldn't bear the thought of him starving within the wardrobe. Luckily I found him laid out in front of the fire purring loudly from a full belly of chicken.

As for the wardrobe doors they remain firmly shut to this day. I am concerned that my half eaten vole that I left on the top of the shirt drawer will still be there when the doors eventually re-open.