The other day I asked Max why we cats don't talk to two legs. I know I talk to you through this but it's not the same as sitting down and talking like we do with each other.
Max, of course, knew the answer and he said it went back hundreds of years. Before even my personal shoppers were born.
It seems it all happened in a place called Egypt. It's a long long way away well past Tesco's and motorway. It seems that in this place we cats were the rulers. We were treated like Gods and the two legs brought us gifts and we showed them how to do things like building and hunting. It seems we taught them in the same way that Max teaches us now.
Well some naughty two legs came along and decided they wanted to rule and they got rid of us ruling cats and turned us into playthings and left us out at night and made us eat scraps and some didn't even look after us. They said that some of us were devil cats and we had to be drowned.
Well that was too much for the cats and they got together and decided from that time forward they would never again talk to two legs and teach them stuff.
You see if they hadn't done that we could have taught them how to walk on four legs and how to jump using the spring in your back legs. Sebastian said that if we had shown them that they would have been able to jump as high as he used to be able to. he says when he was young he jumped so high he hit his head on the sky that's why he never jumps any more. But he says because two legs are so much bigger they could have jumped high into the sky and over the moon - just like cows can.
I think it is long enough ago to be forgotten about so I am happy to talk to you. Max said it is something we all have to make a personal choice about. He's quite a liberal when it comes to those things but he also says tradition is very important to us cats and we should not throw away centuries of struggle just for a bowl of cream.
I need to think about that.
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