I was out this morning having a stroll taking the airs when I thought about a little adventure. I climbed over the end of the world fence and went down the rows until I got to that nice bit of shady tree where you can sit and watch without being seen.
I must have dropped of because next thing I heard was the two legs calling my name. normally I trot back to see what they want and she gives me some biscuits or a treat and says how good I am to come. I'll stay put I thought to myself!
Over time the calling got more frantic then I saw him don his shoes and go wandering down the streets calling my name - he did look funny and it was all I could do not to give the game away by chortling. He walked right under my tree without a thought of looking up. I was going to jump on him and then I thought no.
They went home and I think they forgot about me so I got a bit cold and lonely and hungry and thought I'd better trot back on my own. Half way along the fence that separates the world from it's end I met my Mum. Now we don't see eye to eye on most things. Well to be truthful on anything. She swears at me and I spit at her. But there she was in the middle of the divider between here and there.
I made a sudden decision and jumped over her head and onto that glasshouse thing they have in the garden. I was on the absolute peak of it and could look down on Mum and the rest of the world. Of course the commotion brought the 2 legs out and there was much questioning of where I'd been. I wanted them to shut up and decide how I was going to get from where I was never mind where I'd been.
As soon as I moved onto that glass stuff my legs wouldn't work and I slid about like those silly people who go dancing on ice on television. He took charge and was telling me to come to him and he would catch me. I've seen that before and just as you get there they walk away and you crash land on your bum. No way was he getting me like that - so we had another stand off.
I was now very hungry, quite called and busting to go to pee. Isn't it always the way - when you are somewhere where it is impossible to go to pee - you need to go real bad.
After a lot of thought I decided to trust him and I slid down the glass towards his arms. To my surprise he didn't walk away but he leant out, caught me in mid-slither and lifted me to safety. I did the only thing possible at the time and bit his arm leapt to the ground and made for a quick pee in my box.
When I got there I didn't really want to go after all. I am still a bit jittery about that slide but he was OK catching me - not sure about whether to bite him next time.
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