You Put Your Left Leg In

Did I tell you about my mate Louie?

She lives on the other side of the road to me. It's dangerous to get over there because all these cars and stuff come roaring round and only Max is brave enough to go over there. My Mum Lily does too but then she goes everywhere - she's not scared of anything.

Well Louie is this pretty little girl cat - she's older than my Mum but not as old as Max and Sebastian. Sebastian said he used to like her but she thought he was too old for her. Anyway she comes over to see us and she likes to go in next door's garden where there's all these trees and stuff and that big puddle of water where there are supposed to be giant fishes.

This morning I was on the fence that marks the end of the world and I saw Louie down in the garden next door

"Where you going?" I called

"I'm off to play eye in the sky with those fish in the big puddle" she said. "Should you be up there? You're only little."

That did it. I wasn't having anyone tell me I was too little to do something; so I jumped down into the garden with her. My feet hurt because he's got this pebble stuff all over his garden and not the soft grass we have. I didn't let Louie know it hurt.

"Now you just go and sit quietly by the puddle and you say 'the eye in the sky has come for you' and the daft things come up to look. That's when you grab them">

"What do I do when I grab it?" I asked - a novice at this game.

"You eat it of course stupid. What do you think you do? Play croquet with it?"

Not impressed I followed Louie and we sat by the puddle and she started this weird chant she'd taught me. I joined in and very soon a little face came up out of the water.

"What the Hell are you doing you silly sausages. What are eyes in the sky?" a rather plump goldfish was addressing us.

I was sort of taken by surprise and stepped back and put my foot in the water right up to my bum and it was all cold and wet and murky.

"Don't disturb the water stupid!" moaned the fish. "We can't breath when it's all muddied up like that. If you want to swim go somewhere else this is for us fish only"

Louie mooched off up the gravel and left me at the fish's wrath.

I made a run for the fence climbed up and went over to home where my two legs were eating dinner.

"Have you fallen in the pond, Casper?" she asked "You haven't eaten his fish have you?"

What a silly question. You couldn't eat that tough old boot.

At least I got a rub down in a nice warm fluffy towel and a bit of chicken to cheer me up. Remind me not to go out with that Louie any more - she's trouble!