As has become customary over the time I have been writing to you I occasionally feel obliged to pass the keyboard over to two legs and let him tell you one of his stories from way back before I was on the scene. That time has come around now. I apologise in advance because I know he doesn't write as well as I do but you have to humour them.
This is a little story from a few years ago
My neighbour had bought a holiday apartment in Spain. I helped his wife create the web-site to promote the property but never knew quite what I was letting myself in for during those balmy evenings closeted in her small bedroom.
Nigel went out there to check on the property every 2-3 months; Jackie doesn't travel well so she stays home with the three cats and the dog and the grumpy teenage son who can't afford to go out there and if he could wouldn't because he is more contrary and cantankerous than me - I like him.
Anyway when Nigel goes, management walks the dog; Jackie can't as it is too strong for her and grumpy can't because he is too butch to be seen with a dog. Management enjoys this 3 times a day sojourn. I am usually oblivious to 2 of the 3 outings but during the long cold dark Winter evenings I am made aware of the 10 pm walk and usually summonsed to accompany management in case there are any strangers in the lanes where she walks. I would hate for them to be scared.
The other night I was readying myself for the trip (in fact I felt more like Rannulph Whistleton Twickleton Fiennes setting out for the North Pole with all the layers of clothing adorning me. All for a 5 minute walk to let the Labrador wee.
Now Jackie has 3 cats - Perrin roams and lives in the lanes; Charlie roams and lives in our conservatory, and Holly who roams and Max likes her!
Perrin and Charlie will join management on the walks; Holly does not. Max watches as far as he can from the cat perch by the window and Sebastian believes it is all far too boring and goes back to sleep.
The night in question we set out. Management went next door to collect the dog; I was charged with locking the front door. An exercise worthy of the guards at Fort Knox with turning keys and clanging locks - Max slipped out unnoticed by me.
The dog appeared with Perrin and Charlie in trail. We set off for the lanes. I lead the way (any good general will lead from the front). We turned into the lane and I was aware of a tinkling sound. It grew louder. I greeted Clyde. He is a big fluffy cat from a neighbouring street with said bell round his neck and a super friendly disposition. We spoke of not seeing each other for a while and he rubbed against my trousers. I picked him up and he purred contentedly. Charlie came to investigate. Perrin went and sat in the bushes.
Another plaintive cry. Max had come as far as the pathway and was far too tired to continue his journey. I went to see him, Clyde still in my arms. Mistake. Clyde swore at Max; Max ran up the lane, Clyde sprang from my arms and tinkled after him. Charlie followed Clyde. Perrin followed Charlie. They sprinted towards the failing light.
Suddenly they changed direction and came hurtling back followed by Huxley the weima...., wymara...., the purple dog who had been having his late night exercise up the top of the lane. Jo (that's Nigel's dog) gave chase.
Management and I stood with Huxley's owner as the hubbub subsided. Cats and dogs returned to their rightful owners and we bade each other good night and went home.
As I unrobed the multiple layers, Sebastian eyed me from his position laying on his back on the floor. I swear he winked at me
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