Ahoy Shipmates

You don't know how lucky you are to be reading this. I nearly wasn't here. I thought I was sailing away for a year and a day like that bird and cat that went to see and got married. But I am ahead of myself. Now that is a funny saying isn't it? If you were ahead of yourself could you see yourself coming and if you could and there was some danger could you stop yourself from going into the danger even though you were already in it? Answers on a  postcard please care of old two legs!

I was having a wander round the estate when I thought what a lovely fresh crisp morning it was and how nice it would be to take a stroll down to the river bank. Often when I go down there I meet up with Victor Vole or Crazy Connie Coot and we have a little chat and run around. The exercise is good and I quite enjoy a conversation with someone other than Max and Sebastian from time to time. I am not saying Max and Sebastian are boring but a change is as good as a rest as a wise old cat once told me.

I got down to the river bank and was walking along where the boats are moored up when Crazy Connie and her family shot out from some weeds.

"What you doing down here this time of year, Casper?" she called

"Just came for a stroll as it was nice. Keeping well? you and the family?"

"Never better. Hop up on that boat there and we'll have a natter. I think Junior has still got half a worm he found yesterday. We can share that if you like"

I declined the food but hopped up onto the wooden seat and settled down for a chat but the sun was warm and Connie tends to natter on and on. Before I knew where I was I was in a nice snooze. I was having a lovely dream about a mountain of tuna and as I ate more and more of it the sicker I began to feel, I opened an eye and there was no sign of Connie and the chicks. The boat was tossing up and down and there was the smell of a tobacco pipe in the air. I felt quite queasy.

"My Gawd, where be you a coming from to land there in my boat?" boomed this voice from a wizened face, the pipe at a jaunty angle from the mouth.

"Er I was having a sleep and you must have set sail sir"

"Ye must've been drowsing in the boat while i were a casting off. Now we're on the high seas. Hope thou be a good sailor. I can't be doing with sickness on the waves"

I put on my most hurt expression and immediately felt a retching come from deep within. The old sea dog looked at me. "We only be in the bay and you be sick already. You aren't no ship's cat are ye? Best put you ashore before you frighten all the fish around"

With that he turned for the shore and set me off in just a few inches of water.

I ran all the way home and curled up on the fluffy towel. Last adventure for me for a while!