Christmas Is Coming

I heard the two legs the other day say "Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat"

Seemed a stupid thing to say when they haven't got a goose so how would they know if it was getting fat or not and why would that signify Christmas. I decided to ask the sage about it all. Max was a bit down that morning. He had rushed to get breakfast only to find that Sebastian has taken to sleeping downstairs so he gets a head start on breakfast while Max is still plodding down stairs

I told Max I could get the box of biscuits off the top shelf if he helped me in my quest and I had his undivided attention for two minutes. That's about as good as it gets with Max. His mind wanders off onto other things very quickly.

"Well you see the two legs feed up their geese all through the year and then when it is nice and fat and then they wring its neck and eat it fro dinner on Christmas Day"

"But our two legs haven't got a goose so do they go hungry on Christmas Day and what happens if the goose decides to go to Weight Watchers and loses weight and isn't fat by Christmas?"

"You always make problems Casper. If they haven't got a goose they buy a turkey and and if the goose is thin it stays until next year because you know what you take off in weight one year you put back the next!"

"So when do they go to Turkey and what becomes of us when they go and is Turkey further away that Tesco's?"

"They go to Tesco to get the turkey and we get some of it too; when it's all nice and warm and oozing juices and got stuffing in the middle and bacon on the skin and a sausage up its bum"

"OMG they are awful these two legs - fancy sticking a sausage up a turkey's bum why do they do that?"

"Adds flavour and they call it the parson's nose. No Casper don't even start to ask about that and no they don't stick a sausage up the parson's nose or he wouldn't be able to do his bit in church would he?"

Sometimes I think poor old Max gets a bit confused so I let it be.

It reminded me though of when I was out in the Summer over by the farm and I met little Fluffball who was sitting on the bench with two geese. I wonder if they are fat and going to be on someone's table this Christmas or I wonder if Fluffball ate them there and then. I'm glad I'm not a goose!