Why Are Two Legs So Awkward

I've talked it over with Sebastian and he says the same - two legs are a most peculiar and awkward breed. They just seem to go out of their way to be difficult.

There I was the other day. It had been raining for hours and I couldn't go out. I'd slept myself awake and Max and Seb were busy sleeping so I was bored. I went into see the two legs who was sat at his computer.

"Come on get off there!" I said "I've got proper work to do not playing around like you"

"Not now, Casper. I'll be with you in 5 minutes" he said

Five minutes. Doesn't two legs realise that five minutes to a cat is an eternity. There are some insects that only live for a day so saying five minutes to them is like saying I'll be there in twenty years to a two legs.

Anyway I knew when he said five minutes it was more like half an hour so I went back to my climbing frame and went for a kip on the top perch.

I had just got my head down dreaming of this wonderful plate of steaming coley and a side order of wafer thin ham when the door came crashing open and in he came

"Come on Casper - time you had a game" and plop he was on the floor rolling my toys about. He always chooses the noisiest ones when I am trying to sleep. No consideration these two legs.

"Come on, you wanted to play just now. Where are you?" Before I could answer he had me in a stomach hoist and I was lifted from my slumbers and deposited unceremoniously on the rug.

"What do you expect me to do now?" I asked

"Let's play in your tunnel then" said stupid. Can you imagine him getting into my tunnel? How can "we" play in it. It's barely big enough for Sebastian to get into.

Reluctantly I stretched and thought I had better humour him with a few rolls and chases of the ding a ling ball. It's a bit degrading for a cat of my age but I like to keep him happy.

No sooner had I joined him than he shouts that he's got cramp in his leg and he shouts and moans until the female two leg comes in and massages it for him.

I look around and all thoughts of playing have gone and he has moved back to his books and is reading again. Oh well time for me to get a blog done then.