Early Morning Meals

I was over the fence in the other garden talking to my mate Coby the Koi. He's really nice and friendly but he tends to have a very short memory. Max said all fish were like that.

"Morning Coby," I started, "what have you been doing today?"

"How do you know my name? I've never seen you before"

"We have a chat most mornings and you told me your name. I'm Casper"

You're a funny rooking fish. You got all fuzz on your back and you got regs" I am gradually getting the hang of Coby's Japanese accent.

"I'm not a fish Coby I'm a cat"

"Ah so you are cat-fish. You still rook funny!"

"Where's your mates Coby - they usually come to see me too"

"I got no mates mate. I rive all on my own" and with that he swam around the pond."

"Who are you?" came a plaintiff call as Coby came back in sight. "Why you rook in here at me? You want to eat me yes?"

"No Coby. I don't want to eat you I just had a lovely bowl of tuna and cream. I just came to talk."

"Ah you want to see my mates. They down there somewhere eating food from bottom."

I had a horrible thought for a moment and then realised he meant the bottom of the pond. I had another horrible thought about what was down there.

"You come down and eat with us prease"

I felt the horrible thought turn ten times horribler.

"I'm absolutely full Coby and besides I don't swim good"

"Nonsense you cat-fish. You swim rike a sea-rion. Come on down"

Coby disappeared to the bottom of the murky pond. I dipped my paw in to test the water - it was cold. Just then I got a jet of cold water up my bottom.

"Get away from my fish, moggie" he shouted aiming the hose of water at me.

I was up and over the fence before you could say frozen assets and back indoors for a warm by the radiator. Don't think I'll be quite so neighbourly in future