My Dentist

I was having a quiet doze on my bed up in the bush next to the fence when I was awaken by this noise that sounded like an unoiled rotor. I opened one eye and saw this huge pigeon disappear into the conifer tree and a moment later re-appear and fly off with the squeaking noise of those unoiled wings. he hadn't gone very far when a low cooing came from the tree. Someone was in trouble or in pain or both. I stretched up to have a look.

The unoiled wings sounded again and a huge body was on the branch just above me.

"You touch one feather on me or my family and I have your eyes out. Comprendez?"

"Yes sir I do but I wasn't going to hurt anyone. I thought someone was in pain. I was going to see if I could help." I blurted in defence.

"Hello Perce. How are you doing? Haven't seen you in a while" Max's voice came from over my shoulder. I hadn't seen him come up. "It's OK this is the young one you met last year. He's grown but he's one of us. No danger to you."

"Right only the missus is pregnant and we thought there were two and now we find there's three so I am having to build an extension to the nest plus feed her and build reserves for the little ones when they arrive. Any time now."

"Let me help" I broke in. "I can fetch you sticks for the nest"

"OK." said Percy "I could use a rest"

I shot down the fence and picked up a stick and carried it back up.

"What's that? How the Heck do I get half a tree in there for the nest. Leave it alone. I'll do it. I need tiny twigs stupid."

Whether Max made one of his signs to him or whether Percy noticed my hurt look and the tear welling in my eye, his voice softened. "Try again and go for the smaller twigs. You weren't to know"

I climbed back down and rummaged in the rubbish heap and found some nice soft twigs and carried them back up. My mouth was covered in dirt and they tasted horrible.

"Thanks that's so much better. You're a fast learner. What's his name?" he asked of Max. Why he couldn't ask me I don't know. Max told him.

I got three more lots and Percy was very grateful.

"Here let me clean you up" he said and with that he started cleaning my whiskers running his beak and tiny tongue along them. It felt really nice. "Got dirt in your teeth?" he asked. I nodded

He told me to open my mouth wide and he started putting his head inside and pecking away at the dirt around my teeth. It seemed odd having a bird's head in my mouth. "Oh you got some plaque there son. I'll do that for you once I've fed Penny."

"Thank you but can I help get the food. I've got some tuna indoors and some fresh cream."

"Very nice of you son, but no good to us. Penny wants fresh worms. You can go and get some from where the two legs were digging earlier."

Worms I thought. Oh well. Down I climbed and started rummaging through the soil they had recently turned over. I found three big ones and put them in my mouth and carried them back up to Percy and Max. Percy took one out of my mouth and fluttered into the tree to feed his wife. The worms were wriggling about in my mouth and tasted all slimy. Ugh! In a moment he was back and took the second worm and disappeared again. The third fellow decided to try and escape down my throat I was gagging.

"Open wide. head forward and belch!" ordered Percy

I did and Percy's head shot inside my mouth and I felt him grab something right at the back of my throat. He pulled the offending worm out and fluttered in to his wife.

"Thanks" he said re-appearing shortly after. "Do you want to help with the night watch?"

"Yes please" I answered not knowing what he meant.

"Be here at 2 in the morning and you can watch from then till 6 OK?"

"But I can't get out."

"Use the cat flap"

"Haven't got one" I could see the despair in his eyes. "Wait, I can jump from the bathroom window onto the bins and down. Then when the shift is done I can hide under the barbecue until they open up in the morning. I'll be here"

"Don't forget then" urged Percy.

That night I slept fitfully until 1:45 when I stealthily made my way to the bathroom. I jumped up onto the window sill and looked out. The bins seemed further away than I though. Could I land on them. Would I get hurt. I was shaking and knocked a deodorant spray over.

I heard two legs coming. "What are you doing Casper? Don't jump out there you'll break your neck" and he closed the window locked shut. I felt a failure. My first mission to help Percy and I had failed.

Two legs looked at my sad face. "Did you want to go out to do your business? Come on then" and he went downstairs with me trotting alongside."

He went straight to the French doors and opened them. "I'll wait for you. Be quick" he urged.

I turned and looked dejectedly at him.

"Oh sorry you want your privacy. I'll lock up so you'll be out until morning OK?"

I purred loudly.

He went back upstairs. I ran across the garden and up the fence just in time to hear Percy's call.

"Bang on time lad. Good show. Now keep an eye out for anyone coming near. Me and the missus are off to sleep. Stay awake!"

I am on guard duty - wow!!!!