There's None as Deaf as Them That Don't Want to Hear

Well there was all this rain today. Started when I woke up and didn't stop even when I was asleep. I try and catch it out. I lay there and pretend I'm asleep and then I quickly open one eye and it's still raining. Makes me wonder about all sorts of things. Do they still happen even though I'm not there to see them? If I am feeling particularly philosophical about that sort of thing I will curl up next to Max and we have an in depth discussion about it. Max is one of life's great thinkers. He once told me that he had thought of more things than any cat could ever do in ten life times. I am in awe of Max's brain - he is like some super being.

Anyway I decided I had to venture out to tour the estate and pay my respects to some of the wildlife wandering about in the rain. I went to the door and was immediately told.

"You can't go out Casper it's wet"

"I know it's wet - I've been watching the rain"

"If you go out you'll get wet feet all over the furniture"

"Then you'll have to get that big soft warm fluffy towel and dry me"

"Then we'll have to dry you off and you don't like that do you?"

"Yes I do. I love being wrapped in the warm fluffy towel"

"Go and use your dirt box"

"I don't want to go and use my dirt box. I'm going out to visit."

"Well don't blame me if you catch a chill"

The door opened and out I went. I went to see how Harry hedgehog was managing under the compost heap. He was well and his family were looking good. He was pleased to see me and we spent a few minutes in conversation.

I wandered over to the lavender bush and made myself comfortable in the mud under the bush. Sidney Starling and Cecil Seagull would be down in a minute for a quick feed and a chat about conditions on the coast. Cecil has broadened my mind considerably with tales of seashore activites.

After I had finished my socialising I went back in and asked for the towel.

"Now I've got to dry you off"

"I'd like that please"

"You won't like that and it's no good scratching"

"I won't scratch I like it"

"Why don't you listen to me when I tell you it's wet outside?"

"Why don't you listen to me when I tell you I don't mind?"

"I hope you had a pee while you were outside. Your boxes aren't down yet!"

"No I didn't have a pee while I was out because it was wet in case you hadn't noticed and I would have got muddy feet digging a hole and I would have been in more trouble! So could you get my box ready please."

"If you need to go you'll have to ask to go out again then"

"But then I'll get a chill and you'll have to dry me off."

They wonder why we keep quiet most of the time; I ask you.