I Get Some Weird Jobs

You know old two legs is a bit of a vain old thing. He is always trimming his beard or washing his hair but he doesn't lick it clean like me - he goes and gets water from the tap of life and then splashed it all over him. I keep telling him he should be more ecologically conscious and save water but it goes over his head. Not the water (well it does when he's washing his hair!) but my words.

I heard him saying to my personal shopper a little while back that he should invest in some of those fish that clean away dead skin or something. My ears pricked up at that as I thought about fresh fish for tea. When I told Max he was less than impressed saying that he had never been one for raw fish and all the rest of the Japanese dietary peculiarities. I don't know where he gets to learn about all these things that go on in the world but he is a veritable fount of knowledge.

Back to the fish. I later heard two legs reading and article in the paper. It's funny I think both the two legs can read but whenever one of them has the paper they read bits out loud to the other one. I guess it is because they have poor eyesight and can't see in the dark like we can. Anyway he is reading about how these fish eat the skin and leave nasty illnesses there and people's feet have floated away or something like that. Whatever it was the fish didn't arrive; I never got to try what Max called sushi. And I got a new role.

I was minding my own business while he was sitting watching those little two legs run about in the TV box when he suddenly looked at me and had a Eureka moment. I know those - it usually means I have got to do something!

"Casper why don't you be a fish for me?"

"Have you gone mad? Do I look like I can swim? I eat fish not swim with them. If you want a fish you'll find they are a lot cheaper to run than I am"

In a flash he had his sock off and his smelly foot was under my chin. To be honest it wasn't that smelly and I nuzzled to it and nibbled it and he was in ecstasy. Now I have to do this task whenever he asks but I do get some treats when I do it and of course I only do it because I want to.

Max and Sebastian think it is a bit degrading for a cat to work at anything let alone a pedicurist but I am a cat of my own mind.