Who Is This Cruft's Guy?

Now I have got a real complaint about my two legs. You remember I told you they've got this TV box in the corner and they keep all sorts of other two legs in it and they have planes and ships and cars and all sorts of stuff in it well they shocked me the other night. I was laying in front of the fire on the rug next to Max listening to Sebastian snoring in the corner and I was having one of those lovely awake dreams. I was in this wonderful warm bed with lots of soft fluffy pillows and this lovely female cat dressed in a maid's uniform was bringing me fresh tuna and peeling it into bite size pieces for me while this other one kept pouring little sips of cream for me and they kept telling me how I mustn't do anything to overtax myself. I was very happy and then I heard this barking noise from the TV box. I looked up and there were all these DOGS in there! Running around with their two legs running through obstacles and laying down and waiting to be whistled before they moved. They looked and behaved so sillily I nudged Max and he opened one eye - looked at the screen and raised his eyes upwards in a signal that it was more rubbish that two legs like to watch. I heard this voice in the TV box say "And this year's supreme champion of Cruft's is Blacknose Blue Eyed Dawkins of West Lothian and he wins a years supply of feed and a rosette and money!" I was incensed. There was this dog in my TV box taking a year's worth of food. What were Max Sebastian and I to do while this Blacknose Blue Eyed Dawkins of West Lothian made off with our food. We had to starve for a whole year. I wasn;t having this. I jumped at the screen and tried to attack Blacknose Blue Eyed Dawkins of West Lothian but he just stood there all smug and statuesque. You wait I shall find him and get out food back. I'm not about to let my brothers starve.