Photo Shmoto

I mean there I was having a pre lunch snooze comfortable as you like in the warmth of the unused duvet and what happens next? No it's not one of those quiz programmes on the TV box that the two legs watch and shout at the other two legs to get the answer right. I don't know what's wrong with their TV box because when my carers shout at the two legs on the TV box and tell them what the answers to the questions are, the ones on the TV box never seem to hear them. Maybe I need to get in the back and sort out that wiring for them. I'll make a note to do that when I'm not so busy.

Anyway I was on the duvet when suddenly she appears in the doorway with that camera thing that captures your picture and then it comes up everywhere. I have seen me on the computer here and then on the TV box and on pieces of paper they hand round to each other when the house is full of two legs.

Si I'm laying there and she says. "Show us your fat belly Casper!"

I mean do I ever ask them to show me their fat bellies - I'd rather not think about that!

"Go away and leave me alone and let me sleep off that breakfast tuna"

"Come on don't be shy now. Your auntie in Australia wants to see what a big boy you are!"

Australia! I mean that's so far away - well past Tesco's. And this auntie who I have never seen wants to see how big I am. What's with them all? Can't a cat have a bit of privacy. next thing I'm rolling on my back and there's flash lights going off like the film premier I was never invited to.

"That's a good boy! Wish you would smile when I take your picture. You always look angry and upset!"

"So would you be if you had constant interruption of your sleep and flash lights going off all over the place and people in Australia wanting to see your belly. Can I go back to sleep now please?"

Next thing I hear the computer is whirring away and my picture is flying across the airwaves to be viewed all over the world. At least I got a bit of sleep before lunch though.