Thinking Outside The Box

I may be the youngest in the family but I don't have to be pushed around all the time by the others. I was talking to Percy Pigeon the other morning and telling him about my troubles. How I am always to blame for anything that goes wrong. How I always have to go and fetch things for Max and Sebastain. How I am always being picked on in the play fights because they gang up on me.

Percy said I should take up boxing. I said I had but first of all there are not always boxes around and second of all if I get in a box Sebastian is sure to come along and want to get in it himself. If I say no to him he just jumps in and lays on me and squashes me until I have to get out. Percy looked up to the sky and I thought he was about to fly away.

"Not cardboard boxes, dunderhead. I'm talking about the noble sport of pugilism. The skill of knocking a geezers head off with a single blow from your fist. Well in your case from your paw. in fact you could be a South paw!" With that he burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter and I thought he had finally gone totally mad.

"You really don't know what I'm talking about do you?" exclaimed Percy once he had regained his composure.

I had to admit I didn't.

"Come with me. Can you work that TV box they've got in there?"

"Oh yes." I answered brightly. I often sit on it when he's watching those two legs running about playing football and they all run away and we get female two legs prancing about in little frilly skirts dancing to classical music. he usually goes mad and rushes about trying to get the footballing two legs back. He's got loads of different two legs in that box."

"It's called changing channels and they aren't real two legs in there. Just pictures of two legs."

I wasn't going to argue but I knew Percy was wrong . Who has ever seen a picture run about. They are real two legs. Some have even spoken to him while they are in there.

We got the box switched on and I found the remote control thing that I like to sit on and I awaited Percy's instruction.

"Keep pushing that button" he said pointing "I'll tell you when to stop"

When he shouted to stop there were these two two legs in a ring thing punching each other and a third two legs was running about pulling them apart and telling them not to hold on and all sorts. It was cool.

"Now watch what he does" said Percy tapping the screen with his beak and remember it. Then when you get bullied you can fight back."

I learned a lot from those two two legs and when Sebastian ordered me out of his box later on that evening I squared up to him and was ready to fight - well pugilise or whatever. Sebastian tutted and went back to his chair to sleep.

I think I'm a boxer now.