Revenge Is Best served Cool!

I was really cross with two legs today. You remember I was looking for a cat with nine tails. Well two legs comes along and calls me Stupid because there is no such animal. Now I don't mind being told when I get something wrong - that's the way I learn, but I don't take kindly to being called stupid when I genuinely thought I was onto something special. Revenge will be mine!

It was a busy morning when two legs first cut the grass and then set about cutting back the eucalyptus tree. Now that is my tree for sitting in and looking into my neighbour's garden. That way I always get to know what is going on and I do my neighbourhood watch bit.

"Don't cut too much off!" I heard the female two legs say. I thought that was a waste of breath. When two legs gets the shears or cutters in his hand nothing is safe. Whoosh down came the tree down to 12 inches above the ground. A pile of branches in the middle of the lawn and my vantage point gone! Now that was STUPID!

Anyway I was still waiting on my revenge when I heard the marvelous words. "I think I'll go and have a soak, dear"

I knew what that meant. He always gets in the bath and washes down and then lays for a soak practicing for his synchronised swimming. First one leg comes up out of the water and then another. I don't know why he does it but he does.

I slinked into the bathroom and hid behind the toilet until he was safely in the bath and finished washing. I heard him slide down into the bath and knew his eyes would now be closed and I took my chance. I jumped up onto the bath rim and walked silently round to the taps where his feet were just below the water-line. He never heard a thing. Then the movements started. Slowly one foot rose up and back into the water then the other. I waited patiently and as the foot appeared again I readied myself and struck out at his big toe. he shrieked and pulled his foot up so quickly he crashed it into the tap. More shouting.

Then I saw the water turning pink and I thought I might have gone a bit too far, It was a little cut but mixed with the water looked much worse. The female came rushing upstairs with a plaster and administered it to the ailing toe.

"Your blinking cat! I'll have him". I shot into the bedroom and hid under the bed. Safety I thought.

In he came still moaning and lay on the bed. I knew what this meant, a nap before getting dressed again.

I lay under the bed until I heard the gentle snoring to indicate he was asleep. I leapt up onto the bed and slashed out at his other big toe. he shrieked again and up came the female with another plaster and attended to the other toe! That was my two revenge attacks!

He looks funny wandering about moaning about sore toes! At least he won't call me stupid again.