All I Need is a Drink

Now I know I have told you before about the inconsiderate and unhygienic way two legs go about taking food and drink. They have it together would you believe! Now I know because my Mum taught me that if you have food and drink at the same time it all swells up inside you and you go bang. I don't know how the two legs manage not to explode everywhere because they are always drinking and eating at the same time - they must have weird metabolisms - well to be honest that's what Max says. I am not sure what a metabolism is!

Anyway I persuaded them to leave my water away from my food and Max and Sebastian have come to thank me for this. No more the danger of exploding cats in this household.

Now along with the need for separation of food and drink I have discovered over time many different drinking vessels some of which hold surprises within. Some surprises are nice surprises and some are not - like the one marked "vinegar" How anyone could drink that stuff I do not know. My two legs even put it on their fish and chips! What a way to ruin the perfectly good taste of fish. It is amazing how these two legs have evolved to the stage they have considering their very primative behaviours.

Well the male two legs always takes a drink to bed with him in case he wakes up thirsty in the night. He usually keeps it in his bedside cabinet. Max told me this is because he (Max) used to creep up in the night and have a sip. All was well until one night Max knocked the glass over onto the bed causing two legs to rise in a hurry believing at first that he had had an accident in bed!!

Well last night he left the glass out (that's two legs not Max) and in the night I went for a sip. SIlly two legs had drunk most of the water and I got my head stuck in the glass trying to reach the bit at the bottom.

As usual it was all deemed to be my fault!