I'm A Hero

We were all sitting round the lounge the other night. The male two legs gets these little two leg men in and puts them in that box in the corner and gives them a ball to play with and they run around kicking it. Everyone then sits round their glass box and watches them and shouts and boos. I know it's silly but they seem to like it. I heard the two leg telling someone else that some of the little men get more than £10 a week - that's more than all my food - just for playing with that ball for about 90 minutes. Maybe I should have been born a miniature two legs.

Anyway we were watching them run about and all of a sudden the lady two leg screamed out and made me and Sebastian jump. I thought I had missed a little two leg put the ball in that onion bag thing but she was staring at the curtains absolutely riveted. The male two leg got up and said he was getting the cleaner - funny time for that I thought. I looked at the curtain and there was this giant 8 legged alien there all black and hairy. I asked Sebastian and he mumbled about spiders and went upstairs to go to sleep.

I jumped up and ran up the climbing frame to get to it. Boy could that thing run. The lady two leg was screaming all the more.The alien ran up the curtain and I followed it and caught one of its legs. It came off in my mouth - hairy but soft, I swallowed it. It could still run fast with 7 legs and it made for the floor but I was on it in a flash and set about eating it. It tasted OK.

The male two leg arrived with the cleaner aimed liked a gun and asked her where the spider was.

"Casper caught it and disposed of it" she said with pride in her voice.

They gave me extra treats and cuddles all through the rest of the little two leg playing. Incidentally they didn't take any notice of the alien which was twice as big as them! Maybe they are worth their £10 for bravery.

I'm running on hero worship at the moment!